How to Talk to a Woman
Taking a girl out on a date already says a lot. But this whole business is not just about seducing someone. You must gain the confidence and trust of the person sitting at the other end of the table. More than that, you must make her feel good in your presence and even want more. How to do this? Simple! When you're not flirting with her just let her take control for a while.
Always keep in mind that women's favorite subject is themselves. This little "bug" in their software gives men a big advantage in a conversation and that is curiosity. Yet, only few use it because of the misconceptions surrounding curiosity in general. Curiosity may have killed the cat, but when a conversation between a man and a woman is concerned, I don't think it ever hurt anyone. What I'm trying to say is that if she says something that makes you curious... just ask her! This will tell her that you are interested in her person. Nevertheless, watch out for those not so discreet questions that could turn you into a cat and get you killed.
Another thing most men forget is that women, even the prettiest, disregard themselves. If you discovered something about her that you really like make sure she can feel your admiration. This rule applies to anything from the color of her eyes to the way she back-parked her car for example. Still, try to use original ways to make compliments and remember that you'll receive the most "points" for cherishing her intelligence.
Always listen to her when she talks! Sounds too obvious? Maybe, but the key thing is that it counts less if you've been really listening to her as long as she thinks you weren't. Therefore you can use several tricks like saying confirmation phrases ("I see", "yes" etc.) showing that you're following her. Just don't do it so much that she mistakes you for her shrink. Re-telling what she just said is another useful skill as long as you don't abuse it. You simply rephrase what she said and she'll know you got the point. Nevertheless it can be very annoying if you overuse it.
And, as I mentioned earlier, when she makes you curious about something just ask her! This proves you were listening in the first place. The same happens when you make a compliment based on something she just said.
But curiosity can also be used whenever you run out of topics in a conversation. Every woman is curious by nature so all you have to do is to stir her curiosity and forget all about you running out of interesting subjects or her getting bored.
About The Author:
Caterina Christakos is a published author and dating coach.
Learn more of what to do and what not to do with women. Go to:
http://www.powerdatingexplosion.com
Relationship Crisis: 6 Reasons to Get Physically Fit
Relationship crises (break-up, affair, huge conflict, children problems) demand tremendous energy and often throw our lives off a healthy track - which further perpetuates our inability to respond in a healthy way to the crisis.
Don't forget your body while you wrestle with a relationship or marital crisis.
It is easy to let yourself go. It is easy to postpone - I will start tomorrow - your walking, running or workout. Your preoccupation with the other person floods your life, leaving little room for anything else. Or, you find yourself so overwrought that it seems impossible to "talk yourself" into getting started.
But, exercise and nutrition are powerful tools to help yourself at this point. Here are 6 reasons why:
1. Exercise and attention to your nutrition shift your focus to you. Exclusive focus on the other person atrophies your spirit, your energy, productivity, your healthy emotions and your body. You fade. You diminish. You become less than you truly are. So much of my work with others is helping them begin to think about themselves and take action for themselves. This is a major move. And it can begin by focusing on your body. It is the best, most practical place to begin. Your body is basic. It is a huge part of you. Begin paying attention to it.
2. Focusing on the body, using it, stimulating it, making it stretch and sweat is a great way to reduce stress. I'm not an expert here, but I understand it kicks in healthy body chemicals and cleanses some of the toxins - calming your mind, heart and soul.
3. Your confidence grows as you begin to manage your body and see changes in its endurance, strength and beauty. You begin to think better thoughts about yourself. Self-care can result in a minor miracle in terms of your perception of yourself.
4. You will begin to think of yourself as more desirable and sexy. Your sense of sexiness may be at risk. It may be on the line. It may be called into question. Doubts abound. It is a complicated and powerful issue in our culture. (Watch a few commercials on TV.) Exercise and physical health cuts through the doubts. Being physically healthy is sexy. You feel more sexual and you become more desirable.
5. Physical fitness is one of the first steps to becoming highly attractive and exerting your personal power. Once you believe and act attractive, the power of the relationship or marital crisis will lessen in your life. It actually might seem rather juvenile. Yes, there is more to attractiveness than looking great. But, we begin by honing our body, working it and caring for it. This builds the foundation for other forms of attractiveness and personal power.
6. You assume control. You may feel, as a result of the relationship crisis in your life, that you have little control or influence. It seems to become a waiting game. You wait for the other person. This other person or the situation seemingly dictates your every move and thought. You feel paralyzed. When you begin to move your body, you take control. Getting on a great exercise, fitness program makes you the master of that part of your life. You are in control. That feels good. That is good.
Beginning an exercise/fitness program in the midst of a relationship crisis is easier said than done. Usually we need support, encouragement or some sort of structure to get us moving. We have good intentions, but the follow through is lacking.
You have no further to look than online. There are great sites on the web that help you get started, offer encouragement and resources and keep you motivated and on track. Take advantage of these resources.
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Dr. Robert Huizenga, The Infidelity Coach, has helped hundreds of couples over the past two decades heal from the agony of extramarital affairs and survive infidelity. Visit his website at: http://www.break-free-from-the-affair.com
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Is Negative Thinking Scaring Off Your Soul Mates?
Francine Bonnecelli* swore off relationships the day her husband of nine years left her for a twenty-something barmaid in San Francisco. Even though this was her third marriage, she felt three was the charm and, after all, he showed all the qualities in a soul mate and a marriage partner that no one had ever shown her. After this traumatic experience, she closed off her heart to future relationships, giving up on the theory that you can find THE ONE who meets all your goals and expectations.
Jennifer Quigley*, fresh out of college, had enough of her share of "flings" and was ready for that someone special to enter her life. However, after every date ended up in the bedroom, she vowed that she was going to give up dating altogether. "It's just not worth it," she said. "There just are no more good guys left. I'd rather stay home with my cat or go out with friends."
Joseph Freemont* married his childhood sweetheart fresh out of high school. After graduation, they married and one and a half years later, became the proud parents of a strapping baby boy they named Michael. Two years later, another child joined their family and then a year later, the third child was born. Joseph was a good father as well as a good husband, delighting his wife with anything her heart desired. He laughed at his good luck and never took advantage of the situation by treating every day with his family as if it were the first. Twenty years to the day they married, Joseph lost his wife to terminal cancer. He grieved to the point where he could not come to grips with her passing and decided from that day forward he would never look at another woman again.
What do these three people have in common?
They have all given up on looking for their soul mates altogether and have closed off that path of their journey which is necessary for total self-growth and finding their higher selves.
While they have entered a comfort zone inside themselves to ward off the pain, they have closed it to whatever soul mates who might enter their lives in the future. When they put up this shield, they have also cut off a very necessary part of their life's journey.
And why is this bad?
The reason is that, unknowingly, they have severed an important and vital part of their well-being. They have retreated within themselves to the point where finding love has no meaning anymore. And, in so doing, they have opened themselves to the prospects of getting stress-related diseases and losing what zest they have left in their lives.
In the case of Joseph, grieving is a natural process and one that should be completed before he even thinks about carrying on another relationship. If he were to jump right into a relationship, without going through the entire healing process, only disastrous results would occur.
However, in time, Joseph will heal and he will start to feel those old feelings of having someone to share his life with. Whether he acts on these impulses, it all depends on whether he is comfortable within himself to do so. This will take a lot of time for Joseph to come to this point, but he has to realize that shielding himself from his other soul mates is not going to help him heal.
By allowing these soul mates to enter his life, he will realize for what reason his deceased wife came into his life and left so abruptly. It's all a learning process and one in which Joseph needs to enter in order for him to release the negativity he is bestowing on himself in the name of grief.
Francine and Jennifer are merely products of bad relationships. Both figure what's the point? Until they release this negative thinking, they will bring this baggage into whatever future relationships that may be in stow for them and it will be a pattern they will continue until they realize that this negative thinking is what is preventing them from finding their true soul mates and finding the happiness they are looking for.
Baggage from past relationships shouldn't hinder you from giving up on finding your soul mate. Once you understand that they all served purposes towards your self-growth – even the bad ones – and you can work through the karma associated with it, you're that much closer to finding your higher self. It's your higher self where you find the life, the creativity and the love you deserve.
*names have been changed
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About Dorothy Thompson
Author and soul mate expert Dorothy Thompson is a one of the nation's leading authority on soul mates. Her book "Romancing the Soul" and ebook "How to Find and Keep Your Soul Mate" are one of the most comprehensive guides to explaining what soul mates are really all about. Dorothy's relationship columns have appeared in publications in the U.S. and abroad and has been quoted in such books as "Mean Girls Grown Up: Adult Women Who Are Still Queen Bees, Middle Bees, and Afraid-to-Bees" by Cheryl Dellasega. She is a popular radio media guest, appearing on such shows as Lifetime Radio, Around2It, and Cuzin Eddie Show with Penny Sansevieri and will appear on Single Talk (World Talk Radio) and 850 KOA-AM (Clear Channel Radio with listeners in 38 states, Canada and Mexico) and other media outlets.
To receive a FREE special report on "Ten Tips in Identifying Your Soul Mate," or to learn more about Dorothy's columns or books, visit her personal website at www.dorothythompson.net or her soul mate advice website at www.soulmateadvice.homestead.com.
©Dorothy Thompson, Author and Relationship Expert – www.dorothythompson.net
